I penned these thoughts in the midst of my own people-pleasing journey, viewing it as a prophetic act. However, as of just two days ago, I've felt the seismic shift, the stirring of change. My prayer for you is that, like me, you transition from the exhausting dance of pleasing everyone to the liberating joy of pleasing Jesus. Join me in celebrating this turning point, and let's explore together the path to authenticity and freedom.
At the heart of who I'm becoming, as I shake off my people-pleasing habits, is a simple joy in making others happy. Helping out and going the extra mile has always felt really good, you know? But underneath that, there's this heavy fear of letting people down.
The thought of someone being disappointed in me or walking away because I didn't meet their expectations used to keep me up at night. So, I'd say "yes" even when I really wanted to shout "no."
Seeking validation has been like my personal addiction. I kinda knew I should be cheering for myself, but I kept looking for approval from others. Sometimes, in trying to keep everything smooth and avoid drama, I'd lose sight of what I actually thought or felt. It's been a bumpy ride—getting exhausted from taking care of everyone else, feeling a bit resentful when my efforts went unnoticed, and trying to figure out this whole boundary thing.
But hey, there's a bright side. Recognizing that I tend to be a people-pleaser was the first step to growing personally. Now, I'm more aware of how I act and react. I'm learning to speak up about what I need or what I really think, even if it feels awkward. And realizing that taking care of myself isn't selfish but super important has been a game-changer, with tons of support from friends and mentors.
The turning point? Well, there's this song by Naiomi Raine called "Choosing Myself / Still Alone" that just clicked with me. It's all about breaking free from the fear of loneliness and rediscovering yourself.
As I go through this journey, I've figured out it's not just about choosing myself, but also choosing what feels right with God. It's about picking His way over what everyone else thinks.
The Bible's got some cool reminders too. Like, you can't please both God and everyone else at the same time. And fearing what people think can mess you up, but trusting in God keeps you safe. Here's what the Bible says:
Matthew 6:24 (NIV): "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other."
Proverbs 29:25 (NIV): "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."
Galatians 1:10 (NIV): "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."
In my quest to break free from this habit, I've found that choosing God's path is the way out. Trusting His plan and seeking His approval above everything else changed how I see things. It's not just a shift in thinking; it's like a total heart makeover. By choosing God and His plan, I'm choosing a life where I'm not controlled by the fear of rejection.
So, my journey to ditch people-pleasing is still on—a mix of discovering who I am, growing, and trying to keep everyone happy while making sure I'm happy too. If you've ever been in the same boat, just know you're not alone. There's always room to grow and be yourself.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences with people-pleasing. Share your stories and tips in the comments below! Let's create a space for open conversation and support on this journey. Thanks for tagging along on this ride through "Polly's Perspective."
with love and anticipation,
POLLY