Honestly, I wrote this post weeks ago, but nervousness held me back from sharing it until now. Finally summoning the courage, I present it to you. This is for those in the midst of birthing and developing a vision, finding it somewhat intimidating. It's also for those struggling with boundaries, whether establishing them or abiding by them. When I wrote this, I kept you in mind, wanting you to know that you are not alone. My goal is to encourage you and offer insights on how to keep moving forward.
Before you continue reading, a quick disclaimer: I touch on my past experiences of bending over backward as a people pleaser and doing a lot for others. I want to clarify that I don't regret any of it. Those were stages in my life where I learned valuable lessons and honed my skills. I believe such seasons are necessary, but it's crucial to recognize when you can no longer operate in that manner. There comes a point where discipline and prioritization are not optional but necessary for your well-being. Now, let me share what's been on my mind:
Ever wonder what to do with your wounds? In September, I launched one of my most significant personal projects under Church After Church LA, called Taste & See Sundays—a pop-up mixer and live podcast discussion series in Los Angeles, CA. The journey has been both fulfilling and exhausting. I'm grateful for the favor, grace, and impact that has resulted from Taste & See Sundays.
As I type, we are on a holiday break until the first week of January. While curating, producing, hosting, and marketing these experiences week after week, my character, above all, has been consistently exposed and challenged. I quickly learned that without personal growth, I cannot continue. This role demands wisdom, integrity, and confidence in Christ. I'm not only doing something that's never been done before; I'm also representing Christ. I am inviting people to taste and see His goodness, not mine. Without Him, there is no good in me.
Managing a single Taste & See Sunday, let alone three consecutive months, required constant attention, detail, and resources. I was relentlessly pursuing how to make it happen by all means. I pulled so much from so many people to bring this vision to life, putting myself under immense stress, from which I'm still recovering as I type.
Never have I ever upset so many people in such a short period of time until I started Taste & See Sundays. I receive numerous testimonies about the impact these experiences have had on many attendees. However, I have also found myself exhausting my resources and receiving complaints about how, in one way or another, I have not been wise in stewarding my resources, etc. As a recovering people pleaser, this has been the most difficult part for me. I hate disappointing people. Week after week, more and more people were disappointed in me and expressed it. Their reasons would include because I failed to meet an expectation, or I didn't handle a situation with honor and maturity, or I completely neglected something I was to attend to. At times, I would find myself freezing or crying for some time whenever I messed up. And yes, it's not healthy to approach life like this—I know. But this is my truth, and I'm growing.
Now, here's the thing about people—the thing that I was completely wrong about. It wasn't until recently that it truly dawned on me that every single person has a breaking point or a boundary. And sometimes, I'm shocked to know that this or that is a person's boundary because I've taken on experiences that I should've never taken on because I have allowed people to cross my own boundaries simply because I either wasn't self-aware enough to recognize that I have limits or simply because I didn't communicate them due to people-pleasing tendencies. So I have always taken in so much and I've bent over backward and done the absolute most and have had the craziest stuff happen to me because of this, but I would brush it off like it was nothing. However, in receiving so much feedback from those I know and love in this season, I've learned that just like all of them, it's a must that I learn and express my limits and boundaries. There is no love lost in that, just truth and redirection. And it's not a bad thing that this is the case with us human beings. It simply proves that we are not God, who is limitless. God is God. And that's where I was entirely wrong about people. And even myself.
While it feels remarkably vulnerable to share this on such a public platform, I believe that offering an authentic perspective on my life's reality may prove beneficial to someone else. My refuge lies in my relationship with God and the support system He has graciously given me. In the midst of challenges, there may be moments when the inclination to run, hide, or give up becomes overpowering, fueled by a sense of insecurity or perceived lack of impact. However, it's essential to recognize that these sentiments are deceptive. Taking shelter in the Lord guarantees blessings, favor, and protection. Weakness transforms into strength, and even in the face of apparent loneliness—whether due to misunderstandings or the constant burden of disappointing others—there is a sanctuary to which one can turn, the presence of Jesus. In those solitary moments, when the world seems distant, the solace found in His Word becomes a reliable starting point. In times of pain, seek refuge in the Father. Through personal experience, I've discovered that true safety is found in seeking refuge in Him.
While sharing this journey with you feels vulnerable, I believe in the power of authenticity to resonate and inspire. Life's complexities are universal, and perhaps my reflections can offer solace or encouragement to someone navigating their own path.
Now, let's turn this into a conversation. I'd love to hear from you. What resonated with you in this post? Have you faced similar challenges, or do you have different insights to share? Feel free to drop your thoughts in the comments below.
Moreover, if you're currently wrestling with a vision, struggling with boundaries, or just seeking a community that understands, let this be a space for connection. Share your stories, your victories, and even your ongoing battles. We're all a work in progress, and your experiences matter.
And before we part ways, let me leave you with a question: What's your vision, and how are you navigating the challenges that come with it? Feel free to share or reflect on it. Remember, your journey is unique, and there's value in every step.
Thank you for being a part of this space, for reading, and for sharing. Let's continue supporting each other as we navigate the beautiful chaos of life. Until next time, stay resilient, stay authentic, and keep moving forward. 🌟✨
with love and anticipation,